REFLECTION

When I entered this dance program here at Loyola I was a full fledged competition dancer. I had taken very few ballet classes and had focused on extremely different styles of dance all my life. One main reason I chose to attend this program is because I wanted something new, I wanted to expand my horizons and get as much knowledge as possible in all aspects of dance. I believe that I was a very naive and shy dancer when I entered the program and the past two years has really changed how I dance. I think that the person I am now is a lot different to the person I was only two years ago. Last spring semester I had a terrible injury occur and I believe that this did shape a lot of the reason I have changed so much. During my injury last spring semester I felt as though I got snapped into reality and had to overcome something I never thought I would've had to. Being this severely injured I got to really feel what it was like to be completely out of dance and not being able to move my body in ways I was used to. This situation I went through really changed my outlook on dance, I realized how much dance impacts the way I feel and has a lot t do with my metal health and I struggled a lot during this time. This injury looking back has been a very valuable, even though extremely tough to get through I am very glad I got to experience this while still being able to get back into dance and return to do the art form I love to do. Another thing that really shaped me into my role as an artist was being able to be Deborah Goodman's Rehearsal assistant for the annual dance concert. This experience was extremely beneficial for me because even through I wasn't able to dance in the show I was still able to be a part of the show and learn so many valuable lessons. That experience gave me a lot of practical knowledge that I will always cherish. I learned how to be responsible and professional in the rehearsal environment as well as being up close to an artists creative process and learning how Deborah takes on tasks and helping her through her way. I will always cherish the semester I got to be exposed to these skills and will always try to embody them as I take on different tasks in my professional future. I feel as though i have taken many risks throughout my two years here so far. Trying to come back for the serious injury I had and having a continuous mental battle about if i would be able to do what is asked of me to continue at this high training level really challenged me as a person. Being in this extremely vulnerable state I got to really challenge myself and start to deeply understand why I felt as though I needed to dance and how much i would feel lost if I didn't have it as a major part of my life. I also feel that another major risk I took was deciding to study here in the first place. I was so set in stone at my studio at home and was really looked up to and i knew everything that was going to be asked of me and I sort of knew I was going to figure it out. When I decided to come here I took a leap out of my comfort zone. I personally knew that I couldn't stick to my old tendencies and if I wanted to make this my career I would have to expand my knowledge in all aspects of dance and I knew this was the place to do it. I had never been in the position before where I didn't know what I was doing in a dance class and when I started here that is they way I felt. I had exposed some blind spots and major weaknesses I didn't even know I had but am extremely grateful to have taken this risk to be here. I am changing as a person and as an artist in many different ways and I credit all of this risks I have taken as well as the experiences I have been through so far here at Loyola. My goals moving forward here at Loyola are to really hone in on my ballet technique and use that as a foundation to excel in my other styles of dance. Another major goal I have is to really focus on getting my legs back to full strength and now being scared and willing to take risks in class and trust my body. Coming out of my injury I have had many moments where I am very terrified to do certain things because of how long I was immobile but getting ver that fear will be the biggest goal I wish to overcome. To achieve these goals I plan to really put extensive focus into my ballet classes to set up my body in ways so I can use that basis as a foundation to perform well in other classes. I also plan on making my exercises out of class more extensive to work on gaining that strength back in my legs while trying not to push myself too far as I know that could result in more hurt than good.